I believe in the imagination. What I cannot see is infinitely more important than what I can see.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

एक तरफ़ उसका घर एक तरफ़ मैकदा



A beautiful Garden, blooming flowers, chirping birds, orange rays of setting sun falling on fountain making the scene so beautiful and romantic. But on a corner bench of garden some thing serious was going on…..

Boy: Is this your last decision??

Girl: Yes. (In very sad tone and eyes filled with tears)

Boy: Can’t you give me one more chance??


Girl: No! I have given you some many chances, tried to convince you in each and every way. But you were never able to keep your promises.

Boy: But, I love you so much…

Girl: Me too. That’s why I am leaving. I can’t see you like this. I hate people who drink or smoke. But still I loved you.

Boy: I am trying to quit it…

Girl: No, You are not. I asked you to choose one; Me or them. You chose them.

Boy: No, I didn’t. I chose you.

Girl: That’s why you kept on drinking and smoking?? You kept on saying sorry.. but you never ever gave it a serious try. I don’t want to hate you… I can’t see you like this… It hurts very much... (tears start falling).

Girl stands up and starts walking away. Tears keep on falling, but there is no other way out. Boy keeps on staring at her until she becomes invisible. He still can’t believe this happened to him.
He slowly stands up and starts walking towards nearest pan shop। He buys a pack of cigarette. Suddenly he hears a song being played at Pan wala’s shop…॥
ऐ-गमे ज़िन्दगी कुछ तो दे मशवरा
एक तरफ़ उसका घर एक तरफ़ मैकदा
मैं कहाँ जाऊँ होता नही फ़ैसला
एक तरफ़ उसका घर एक तरफ़ मैकदा
ज़िन्दगी एक है और तलबगार दो
जान अकेली मगर जान के हक़दार दो
दिल बता पहले किसका करू हक़ अदा
एक तरफ़ उसका घर एक तरफ़ मैकदा
इस ताल्लुक को मैं कैसे तोडू जफ़र
किसको अपनाऊ मैं किसको छोडू जफ़र
मेरा दोनों से है रिश्ता नजदीक का
एक तरफ़ उसका घर एक तरफ़ मैकदा.....
## To all the readers - Please give your opinion about the story and the thing girl did was right or wrong. I need both perspective ( from boyz n girlz .. ).

* मैकदा -bar
* मशवरा-advice
*तलबगार- a person who claims for something
*ताल्लुक-realtion

18 comments:

Sneha said...

Nicely written and very touching.:)

Keep writing.

SAHITYIKA said...

@ thank you sneha..
this is my first try of this kind of story... :)

AlbelaKhatri.com said...

this is so nice ...............i love it

sawan said...

the story was good. a usual conversation which happens with a guy and a grl. but looking into it, i gues love shud never be conditional - yes, you have a take here wen the grl said she has given the guy enuf chances to quit the habit. emotionally my heart remains with the guy, cos i dnt find anything wrong in smokin or drinking. practically, my heart is with the girl, cos you got one life and a relationship should never START with adjustments. adjustments shoudl happen on the way to keep it moving, but definitely not at START. they got a choice now, and they better walk on different lanes.
again, beautifully penned.

The Pink Orchid said...

funny how sawan said everything already what i wanted to say.. even i am not anti smoking or drinking.. as long as it is not done overly and is not affecting your personal life, health and professional life.. what the girl did was right too i mean if you can't take it and he can't quit ..to i dont see any future here..

nicely written sahityika..keep writing.. :)

SAHITYIKA said...

@sawan
thanx for visiting ..
yaa thts true tht love should be unconditional. bt love is name of sacrifices.. n what I think girl was not asking him to leave something wrong.. he himself knew that is was injurious to his health and girl cant see him like that. Harming him self everyday.. u said that practically your hearth goes with gal , n what I think is life should be lead by practicality not by emotions.

SAHITYIKA said...

@ pink orchid

hey kajal..
thanx for your views....
what i think i hv written.. i was jus pondering and wanted a pervasive understanding what ppl think . mean i thought d girlz n boyz could be having different thoughts..

keep in touch.. :)

Ajita said...

HI Sahityika
u hav done appreciable effort.......really a vry nice and heart touching story....if i would be in place of dat girl.....i would also do the same thing which she did.....she gave him many chances to leave his habit....but he didn't....and at last he suffered only frm his carelessness

sawan said...

i have to agree on that :) u take care grl..

Sumit said...

nice work!! n dats nice poem/song.
anywyz, regarding this situation if the chap had promised had he would quit n did not, the girl was absolutely right in calling it quits. n the guy had no business promising if he wasn't going to, "am trying" is a phrase that doesn't cut any more, either you gotta do it or stay shut about it. had he made it clear that he cannot quit or won't or would cut down on things so, that he can quit someday easily.... he would have been in a better position!!
n the girl was right in sticking to her guns!!
love is about compromises, but not stupid compromises!! coz, frankly the chap smoking about is a health hazard to the girl too and she has every right to take a call on that, no matter how much she loves him!!

PS: I'm not at all anti to any of the two.

SAHITYIKA said...

@ sumit..
thanx for ur views.
what i m concluding with all of u ppl's thoughts tht what girl did was right but ny of u dont think that what boy was doing was wrong too. if he had promised and dont fulfilled his promise than it was his falt and for this girl can leave.. otherwise girl was wrong/???

in search of ...... said...

well just came through ur blog....srry i dont believe in love being practical....the only thing tht i remember is tht whn its logical its not love n whn its love its not logical....n i think tht love has the power....a power which cannot be defined n explained....ppl in todays world dont know the true meaning of love n thts very sad(i dont say tht i know it either).....i dont know but somehow if both person wud have been in love this things shd not have come in thr way

SAHITYIKA said...

@ in search of ...
may i ask u.. what logic girl used while leaving the boy?? n she tried to use all the powers of love to get the boy on right track ..but the magic of love didnt work.. what should she do nw??
i dont oppose u tht love is unconditional . .. but when u have to compromise.. that is not love also.. sacrifice should be frm both side..

n at last i also find tht .. its impossible to understand what love is?? he he he..

keep visiting .. :)

PULKIT said...

awesome blog!
I loved it in a whole... so following it :)
tc god bless!

SAHITYIKA said...

@pulkit..
hey thnx pulkit.. :)

chirag said...

very good
really loved it

Tan said...

Good story… I know people do not like me smoking or drinking, but then I have made friendship with cigarettes. They give me a shoulder – a hand in need – a state of satisfaction. At times, it liberates me from earthly thoughts!

Remember, I told you about various reasons that people smoke? The discussion was not complete that day, your Mom called! We will discuss about it sometime else…

Nevertheless, Good story!

Sumit said...

Likhte rahein, achcha likhte hain aap

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